By Steve Pawlyk

Published March 29, 2024

So, your superstar didn’t make the team this time around, and you’re both feeling pretty bummed out. Trust me, I get it. Diving into a tough topic today, inspired by a heart-wrenching story shared by a fellow cheer parent on the r/cheerleading subreddit. Their daughter, a seasoned all-star cheerleader, faced a surprising twist in her cheer journey—she didn’t make her middle school cheer team. And just like that, we’re reminded of the rollercoaster ride that competitive sports can be.

Let’s get real for a minute. Not making the team can feel like the world is ending, especially when cheerleading is your life. But here’s the deal: it’s a bump in the road, not the end of the path. So, how do we help our young athletes, and ourselves, navigate these tough times? Let’s dive into some ❤️-to-❤️ advice.

competitive cheerleading emotional resilience

The Feels are Real

First things first, let’s talk feelings. It’s okay to be upset, frustrated, or even angry. These emotions are part of the package deal of caring deeply about something. What matters is what you do with these feelings. Sit down with your cheerleader, grab some ice cream (because ice cream helps, right?), and talk it out. Acknowledge the disappointment but also remind them of their worth and achievements outside of this one tryout.

The Power of Y-O-U

Parents, you’re up! Your role is kinda like being a cheerleader for your cheerleader. Keep the conversation open and positive. Maybe the school team wasn’t in the cards this time, but hey, this isn’t the end. Share stories of your own setbacks and how you bounced back. It’s about showing them that life goes on and sometimes has an even better plan in store.

BROWSE OUR MIXES

Explore and More

Now, for the exciting part—exploring what’s next! Here are a few ideas:

1. Venture into New Cheer Territories

Finding that the school team isn’t the right fit can be a blessing in disguise. It’s the perfect moment to cast the net wider and check out the vibrant world of all-star or recreational cheer teams beyond the school’s borders. Think of it as an adventure in search of a squad where the vibe matches your athlete’s spirit and where respect and teamwork reign supreme.

All-Star Cheer Exploration: All-star teams offer a diverse range of levels and styles, making it possible to find a perfect fit for your cheerleader’s skills and personality. Reach out to friends in the cheer community or look up local gyms on social media. Many gyms offer trial classes or open gyms where your athlete can get a feel for the team and coaches. It’s all about finding a place that lights up her passion for cheer anew.
Recreational Teams for the Win: Rec teams can be a fantastic option, often focusing more on the joy of cheer and less on the high-stakes competition. It’s a great way to keep engaged in cheerleading while enjoying a more relaxed atmosphere. Plus, rec teams can offer a strong sense of community and belonging.

2. Expand Her Cheer Network

Encourage your cheerleader to chat with friends from the cheer world about their experiences with different programs. This can give her insights into the culture of various teams and help her find a new cheer home that values respect, positivity, and camaraderie. Word of mouth is a powerful tool in the cheer community, and personal testimonials can lead to discovering hidden gems.

3. Cheer Camps and Clinics

Participating in cheer camps and clinics can serve multiple purposes—it’s a way to keep skills sharp, meet new people, and scout out potential teams and coaches. Camps often bring together cheerleaders from a wide area, providing a broader perspective on the cheer community and opening doors to opportunities your athlete might not have considered.

4. Give Other Sports or Activities a Go

Sometimes, a step away from the familiar can open up whole new areas of interest and talent. Encourage your cheerleader to try out other sports or extracurricular activities she’s been curious about. Whether it’s dance, gymnastics, soccer, or even a drama club, exploring different interests can be incredibly enriching and may even enhance her cheer skills in unexpected ways.

5. Self-Care and Personal Development

This period could also be an opportunity for your athlete to focus on personal growth and self-care. Encouraging activities like yoga, meditation, or creative pursuits can help maintain physical fitness while also providing emotional balance and stress relief. It’s a chance to build resilience, confidence, and a strong sense of self outside of any team identity.

Keep the Spirit Alive

Finally, remind your cheerleader (and yourself) that their value isn’t determined by making a team. Their dedication, hard work, and love for cheer are what truly define them. Encourage them to keep their head high, spirits up, and to never stop cheering, in one way or another.

Remember, every setback is just a setup for a comeback. Keep cheering, keep supporting each other, and keep shining bright!