losing Archives

By Heidi Weber

Published on December 11, 2019

Raise your hand if you remember learning that as long as you did your best in life everything was going to be OK; that giving your best effort and, of course, adding hard work was the sure fire way to succeed.

Now keep your hand raised if you know that you can think of a time, maybe it’s right now even, where you gave your best, your all, everything you had and it still just wasn’t quite good enough. Those efforts and mindset just didn’t allow your world to turn out the way you had planned.

It’s a difficult moment when you realize that no matter how hard you work at something or how much effort you put into your business, relationships, your customers there are other factors that can get in the way. Cause hiccups in your plans, Goals, and sometimes even your success. Variables that you didn’t count on. Could be timing, knowledge, money, there are lots of these variables.

We are trained and taught that hard work always pays off and in theory it does. It pays off in life lessons, experiences, sometimes money and always growth if we will although it.

But…. what do we do when our hard work

doesn’t lead us to where we wanted to go?

This is quite a predicament to find yourself lost in because it’s counter cultural to our core beliefs that Hard Work ALWAYS pays off.

One day I found myself in this very place. I had worked hard. No one would deny that. I had achieved things, made profits, and even had some recognition. I had worked really really hard and given it my very best. To my own detriment sometimes even. Sacrificing balance, time, and even family but always telling myself I was a hard worker and I had to always give everything all of me. It was the way to guarantee success. Period.

But then one day, week, month, year some variables got right in the way of my belief system.

Growth and change had brought new issues and more balls to balance. More staff and costs in my business. More customers and change and more stretching. Harder choices and bigger decisions. All the while never any relief from the mindset that if I just worked a little harder and continued to give everything my best would pay off in the end.

But then it happened… things started to crumble, fall apart, fail even. So I worked harder and gave more. But it didn’t matter because no matter how hard I worked, how much effort I gave, how much I sacrificed, the reality was I wasn’t going to be able to do “my best” enough to stop the dam from breaking… Imagine me standing at this massive dam where tiny holes are squirting water. It’s just a little leak in the beginning that doesn’t do much damage. Even if when a few more holes pop up you can just manage them even plug them yourself.

yhz__what now photo credit to rebecca small

But then three holes becomes 5 and 5 becomes 7 and 7 becomes 27 and there are so many holes you spend all your time trying to keep the flood from breaking down the dam. You’re exhausted and scared and stretched way too thin and then one day the waters just burst through the barrier and wipes you out in the process. It’s when you just know you’ll drown.

But drowning doesn’t have to be the only option.

See I was so busy holding back the water I was missing the point that I couldn’t escape the overflow that my current capacity could no longer contain. So the water was coming whether I wanted it or not and I could choose to drown in the waves or ride them to the next chapter of my being.

BEING... NOT DOING

Being not doing. See this is the key. Doing is easy. Being is tough. If I’m doing I’m in control. I convince myself I hold the keys to destiny. If I’m being then I’m in touch with the fact that there are many things I can not control and I must not react to the things outside my touch. To evolve to the place where your value and success is not based on wins and loses, profits and margins, toil and tears, yes this is now being.

Knowing that I’m the moments of growth and pain, stretching and development, there is strength and power in this. This is the new belief system. To have the new mindset that replaces the hard work and doing my best leads to success with the idea that being the truest me is the ultimate success.

yhz__what now photo credit to rebecca small_w quote

That new view of what success looks likes becomes the understanding that I’m always developing and I am so much more than what I can do. That I’m always building the “who I’m meant to be” and that is touching all those around me as well.

Hear me clearly when I say that I most certainly thought about drowning when the dam came crashing down on me. Maybe I even wanted to drown in that moment if I’m honest. I would be lying if I tried to say it wasn’t a path I thought about taking. But in the end I decided to let the water cleanse me. That I would ride the wave and let the water surround me even soak it in consuming me so I could to be open to next version of who I could be.

Not what I could do, but who I could be.

Today is just a moment take a deep breathe and know it’s enough for you to just be you. Everything else is just part of our path and something to grow from. Your truest moments come the day you realize that you are your own greatest success and all those your life touches is the most treasured successes. Everything else is just icing on the cake.